That most deceptive of body types, the beanpole-fatty boasts a naturally slender frame, but like an iceberg, most of his bulk is hidden. It’s this visceral fat around the midriff that makes him critically unfit, with worrying long-term health implications. It’s time to stop hiding and redress the balance.
Often found hiding in plain sight, the Skinny Fat man is unlikely to ’fess up to the appellation – mainly because he’s unaware of it. Sure, he looks OK in a T-shirt, but underneath he’s a not-so-hot mess, with visceral fat suffocating his internal organs, drastically increasing his risk of type 2 diabetes. In short, his long-term prospects are slimmer than his arms – and he has fat chance of reaching a ripe old age. “As well as poor training habits, stress and overeating can cause your body to stockpile fat,” says PT Tim Walker of Evolution of Man Training (eomfitness.com).
(Related: The best training plan for your body type)
“As a result, it’s likely that your testosterone levels have plummeted in inverse proportion to oestrogen, leading you to pack on lard in ‘female’ places.” Think triceps (bingo wings), chest (man boobs) and hips (they don’t lie). So, while you may feel in fine fettle, if you’re carrying a little extra heft, ask yourself: are you burning the candle at both ends by getting to work early then staying up late? Does ‘training’ actually mean the occasional jaunt round the park?
If the answer to either is yes, it’s time to act. “The immediate reaction when we gain weight is to hit the cardio hard, but steady-state runs actually raise the stress hormone cortisol, cannibalising what muscle you do have,” says Walker. Cue severe iron deficiency, leading to lethargy, heart palpitations and headaches – none of which will put you in an optimum training mindset. Joining the gym may help.
(Related: Snatch Brad Pitt’s best body secrets)
1. Farmer’s walk: 3 sets of 30 seconds, with 10 seconds rest.
Holding two heavy things – dumbbells, hay bales – walk forwards, taking short, quick steps while keeping your posture upright, shoulders back. Keep going until your grip gives out.
2. Kettlebell swings: 3 sets of 20 reps, with 10 seconds rest
Feet shoulder-width apart and knees soft, take a kettlebell and swing it through your legs. Engage your core, hips and shoulders to drive it up to chin height. Do 20 reps to complete one set.
3. Sandbag lunge: 3 sets of 20 reps, with 10 seconds rest
Place the sandbag across your back. Step forward with your right foot and sink into a lunge, so both legs are bent with your back knee as close to the floor as possible. Drive yourself back up and repeat on the other side.
This guy is at his best when approached face-on, thanks to his habit of constantly training from the front in the following order: chest, shoulders, abs.
But a sideways glance tells a different story: his shoulders slump forward over his too-tight pecs, his behind protrudes and his lower back curves because of taut hip flexors. He may hold the gym’s deadlift record, but he’d struggle to raise his hands above his head or complete a 5K without collapsing – all of which can lead to flexibility issues in later life. Dalton Wong of Twenty Two Training (twentytwotraining.com) started out in mobility and rehab on Harley Street, and has seen his fair share of poor postures. “Many men who ‘train’ have that rounded kyphotic posture, leading to shoulder, neck and back pain,” he says.
“They have a ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality, so they work through it. Inside, they’re in terrible shape: stiff, sore and shovelling protein into their stomach, which is distended because they can’t digest it all.” Not the kind of bulking you had in mind, bro. When it comes to rectifying the situation, regeneration is the name of the game.
STRETCH YOURSELF TO A BETTER POSTURE
Bringing in the neglected postural muscles and glutes will promote far greater mobility than simply alternating chest and arms ad infinitum. However, bad habits are the hardest to break and in the gym, our man has a reputation as someone who lifts and leaves. The solution is to continue behind closed doors with an evening stretch session. You can even do it in front of Planet Earth.
Single-leg hamstring stretch
From your knees, place one foot forward in front of you. Keeping your back upright and foot planted, lean forward through your hips to stretch the front of your rear leg. Repeat with the opposite side.
Hip flexor stretch
From your knees, place one foot forward in front of you. Keeping your back upright and foot planted, lean forward through your hips to stretch the front of your rear leg. Repeat with the opposite side.
Glute stretch
Lie on your back with your knees bent. Lift one ankle up and rest it across the opposite knee. Reach underneath the lower leg and pull up towards your chest. Repeat with the opposite leg.
Whether you’re out of the game completely or no longer seeing the fast results you did 10 years ago, lapsed athletes face a triple threat, says ‘career extension specialist’ Mackie Shilstone (mackieshilstone.com).
Having helped quarterback Peyton Manning lift the Super Bowl trophy this year after his multiple neck surgeries, 65-year-old Shilstone still terrifies clients such as Serena Williams with his fitness levels. “If we let fitness slide, we face sarcopenia, or age-related muscle loss; anabolic resistance, which is the failure of exercise to stimulate growth like it did when you were 20; and a reduced ability to recover,” he says. If you happen to be a Dad Bod denier, complacency is your enemy. It’s clear your priorities have shifted since those halcyon days when you could pack on muscle and keep off fat while eating whatever, whenever. In your head, you’ve still got it; in reality, you’ve got a burgeoning middle-aged spread and fading muscle memory. “By far the biggest contributor to the Dad Bod is being too busy or tired to dedicate proper time to progression,” says Shilstone.
The answer isn’t more time in the gym, but to rethink what you’re doing while you’re there. “The same short warm-up on the bike followed by those biceps curls you’ve been doing forever won’t solve anything,” says Shilstone.
To mix things up, it’s time to embrace a technique beloved of Arnold Schwarzenegger, AKA the true fitness daddy.
THE GROWTH-SPURTING WORKOUT
If age or indolence has grounded your gains, high-intensity ‘drop sets’ will lift things off the ground. Whatever you’re doing, aim for twice as many reps as normal, lifting your usual weight. When you tire, drop the weight by 20% and keep going with this method until you’ve finished all reps. Pushing through fatigue engages dormant muscle fibres, promoting growth and strength to recapture your youthful physique.
1. Dumbell squat: 2 sets of 20 reps
A heavy bar on your back isn’t ideal when working toward failure. Hold dumbbells by your sides and slowly lower into a squat with your back straight. Explode up and repeat, reducing the weight by 2kg each time you feel like you can’t go on.
2. Bench press: 2 sets of 20 reps
Lying on a bench, start with a barbell weight you can comfortably lift for 10 reps. Lower the bar to touch your chest , then power it back up . Once you hit the wall, drop 5kg and continue – with a spotter on hand should your arms give out before your will does.
3. Dumbbell lateral raise: 2 sets of 20 reps
A bodybuilder’s favourite, this ropes in the entire upper back, shoulders and triceps. Stand up straight with a medium-weight dumbbell in each hand. Raise your arms to the sides to make a T shape. Lower and repeat, working down the rack until all reps are done.
